Author Archives: pandadevon

About pandadevon

I have experience of psychiatric labelling and unhelpful "treatments" at the hands of our medical model services. I am now finding my way through with therapy and wish to share my experiences. Helpful and otherwise.....

Trust

Posted on 09/11/2016 by pandadevon

I had to take a gamble. I had to learn to trust. I had to learn to speak. Now I have spoken the message I’m getting is that I need to censor myself. I was foolish to trust. The person … Continue reading →

Posted in death, silence, trust, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

“Better”

Posted on 05/10/2016 by pandadevon

If you’re like me and you have been looking, searching, actively, furtively, seeking “better” then I am appealing to YOU – “better” does not exist. I am writing this as a warning to those of you on this search – … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, belief, believe, better, death, distrust, feeling, hate, life, pain, sexual abuse, therapy, Uncategorized, worse | 3 Comments

Paed-ode

Posted on 02/09/2016 by pandadevon

You ruined my life And you got away with it You ruined my life Before I even knew You ruined my life And died before I could say You ruined my life And nearly took mine You ruined my life … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, belief, believe, death, distrust, earth, feeling, hate, justice, life, love, ruin, sex, sexual abuse, silence, terror, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I Disappear

Posted on 24/07/2016 by pandadevon

  I ask how someone is I listen to their response We converse a while I notice that person doesn’t ask ME How am I? What is going on for me? Don’t bother asking I know you don’t care Don’t … Continue reading →

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“My Child”

Posted on 21/05/2016 by pandadevon

When she was young and she actually spoke; no-one listened to or believed her. To the point that she literally STOPPED talking. Recently when she “spoke” no-one listened to or believed her. Now, guess what, when she “speaks” to me, … Continue reading →

Posted in abuse, belief, believe, pain, sadness, sexual abuse, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Elisa Day

Posted on 18/05/2016 by pandadevon

  In medieval Europe, there apparently lived a young woman named Elisa Day, whose beauty was like that of the wild roses that grew down the river, all bloody and red. One day, a young man came into town and … Continue reading →

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Cherry Ghost – People Help The People

Posted on 24/11/2015 by pandadevon

God knows what is hiding In that weak and drunken heart I guess you kissed the girls and made them cry those hard-faced dreams of misadventure God knows what is hiding in those weak and sunken eyes A fiery throng … Continue reading →

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Comedy Sketch – Phobias workshop

Posted on 21/11/2015 by pandadevon
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A Good Day

Posted on 05/11/2015 by pandadevon

Somebody once told me that this song reminded them of me (myself, I) – I feel far from “a little bit hopeful” at the current time but love this acoustic version of Above and Beyond’s song. Also love the dress … Continue reading →

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Tenpole Tudor and Wellesley Tudor Pole

Posted on 03/10/2015 by pandadevon

Had this song playing in the car today, posting for no other reason than I love the energy and love singing “Hooray hooray hooray eh!” Then I got to thinking about Tudor Pole (the lead singer of the group called … Continue reading →

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